Secrets LoJack, On*Star, and Car Thieves Don’t Want You to Know

“DYI: Low Tech, Low Cost Vehicle Tracking Device – Or Child Device Or ________ Device.” by bits&digits

Carpe Diem! It’s Thursday, and that’s really the only attitude I have to share on any day.

Today’s blog post is inspired by 2 incidents that very close friends experienced last week. To maintain brevity I will not go into detail on these cases, but I will show you the McGuyver way of rigging your car with a tracking device in case your Kids Borrow it, or a thief simply forgets to return your car after a moral awakening. (We can all dream right?)

BLUF – Bottom Line Up Front

What most of us do NOT know (or those who haven’t read or do not abide by the 5 Cell Phone Privacy Commandments) is that while we so eagerly download apps that appease our instant gratification for distraction or to simplify normal tasks, these Apps are not vetted or scrutinized by any authority to prevent them from being Mainstream 3 Letter Agency style snooping applications. But who cares right? Ha – well in today’s, edition I will show you one way Google’s ingenious ingenuity can be of a true advantage. Read Carefully – empty your cup and fill it with awesomeness.

Low Tech, Low Cost Vehicle Tracking Device – Or Child Device Or ________ Device

Items You Will Need:

  • $30.
  • 1 Moral Compass.
  • 1 Android Phone (Trip to your local walmart or asking your friend for that cracked screen one they don’t use will do) Do not spend more than $20 for a phone. Make sure it was made within the last 5 years and preferably has a touch screen.
  • 1 PrePaid or Additional Line to your existing “contract” plan with your carrier. YOU MUST HAVE DATA – but literally 100mb a month is going to be WAY more than you need. Don’t worry I have a plan
  • You Should pay no more than $10 a month for such plan.
  • For those not paying attention thats $20 for the phone and $10 for the Monthly Plan AT MAX!!
  • Do not tell anyone about this plan. Not your cousin or that weird guy thats always lurking around your coffee shop.
  • Buy the phone and the plan with CASH not a Card.
  • If the phone is not new, ensure you go to Settings > Backup & Reset > RESET (All it.)
  • From another phone or computer go to and Create a new GMAIL account – It is Imperative that you create a NEW account and not use an old one. Ill explain later – for now EMPTY YOUR CUP.
  • Setup your new phone with the NEW Google Account you just created. Remember your REAL NAME IS NOT A REQUIREMENT nor is it a practice I recommend.
  • Enable Location Services on phone.
  • Do not install any other apps, or play around and show off the phone. Once you have established the account, logged into it, and turned on location services, turned the volume off you have completed most of EVERYTHING you need to do.
  • Ensure the phone has a full charge and place it in a discreet location at a time and place where no one is looking and your not within eye shot of your neighborhood peeping pom.

You have successfully Enabled a GPS Tracking Device in your Car


  1. In the event the unlikely happens all you need to do is go to
  2. Log In with the credentials you made for the phone (best just to add that new account to your REAL Phone so you wont forget your password)
  3. Click Locate Device – and do whatever action you feel necessary to recover your car.
  4. If the above is too complicated, pay the $759 dollars for LoJack or if your a GM/FORD type of person pay that annual $239 and call it a day. If your not gushing with cash, then the above method is for you. (Honestly, save $120 every year.)
  5. Oh yeah, charge the phone every once in a while.

Hopefully, you won’t have to thank us later.


Think outside of the box, through the lens of the Matrix and with the perspective of a McGuyver.

Have a wonderful Thursday and consider yourself Upgraded.

Sincerely yours,


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